Rules for dating my brother
by maryranstadler1
Summary: rules everyone has for dating their brother
1. Chapter 1

Rules for dating my brother

Chapter 1 Feliciano and Lovino

rules for dating my brother by Feliciano Vargas

1\. Give him lots of hugs  
2\. Give him lots of kisses  
3\. Give him lots of tomatoes  
(Feli! Dammit why did you put that in there? that tomato bastard is gonna think i like him now!  
Lovvvvviiiiiiii, you do like him. you're dating him aren't you?  
No! he's an idiot and a bastard! i hate him!)  
4\. tell him how nice he looks often.  
(Feli! that is a stupid one. let me write these.  
No Lovi! i get to write the rules for you. you write the rules for me. and they'd better be nice and not mean to Ludwig.  
i don't want you dating that damn potato bastard Feli.)  
5\. ummmm, make him pasta and give him kitties and flowers and did i say hugs and kisses?  
(Feli you idiota. write normal rules that are actually rules not stupid stuff you want.  
My rules are stupid fratello? *sniff* i'm sorry.  
don't cry you little idiota. they're ok.  
Yay! thank you Lovi!)  
6\. ummm, dress well. Gucci, Armani. you have to look good.  
(ok i agree with that one there.)  
7\. be nice to Lovi. no matter how grumpy he is or how much he calls you a bastard or stupid or a stupid bastard be nice!  
(I don't call anyone stupid bastard and i am not grumpy. stupid bastard)  
8\. ummmm, i can't think of anymore Lovi. is that enough?  
yes Feli. now it's my turn. hehehe

rules for dating my stupid little brother by Lovino Vargas

1\. don't be German.  
(Lovi that's not fair!)  
2\. don't be a potato bastard.  
(Lovi!  
Shut up these are my rules now.)  
3\. don't have blond hair or blues eyes and a stick up your ass.  
(Lovi be nice!)  
4\. be nice to the little idiot.  
5\. give him lots of pasta so he'll shut up and not be yelling pasta constantly.  
(Lovi i don't yell pasta constantly.  
yes you do.  
no i don't.  
yes you do.  
no i don't.  
whatever idiota.)  
6\. again we can't stress enough, dress well. we're Italian dammit if you wanna have anything to do with us at least know a few Italiandesigners.  
7\. no damn potatoes.  
(Lovi! i like potatoes sometimes.  
you take that back dammit!)  
8\. lay one damn finger on my little brother you potato bastard Ludwig and i'll rip your arms off and beat you to death with them!  
(Lovi that's a bit harsh don't you think?  
no it's not! he needs to keep his damn potato hands to himself!  
Loooovvvviiiiiiii!)


	2. Chapter 2

chapter 2 Gilbert and Ludwig

rules for dating my unawesome brother by the awesome me Gilbert Beilschmidt

1\. help him to loosen the hell up.  
(Gilbert be serious.  
I am serious. i'm always serious. except vhen i'm not. keseseseses)  
2\. help him pull the stick out of his ass.  
(Gilbert you're only on number 2 and you're already giving me a headache.  
number 2. keseseseses.  
*sigh*)  
3\. learn to make German food and German cakes and things.  
4\. get him to laugh already so he von't look like a damn marble statue or something.  
(*sigh* Gilbert)  
5\. be cute. and Italian. and named Feliciano Vargas.  
(Gilbert!  
Vat?! it's true!)  
6\. i know you can't be as awesome as me, or awesome at all, but Feli's pretty close to awesome so be as awesome as you can Feli and  
try and get my brother to stop being so stuck up and boring and such a veirdo and help him have at least a little bit of awesomeness  
because obviously being around the awesome me so much isn't helping any.  
(Gilbert i svear i'm going to punch you in the throat.)  
7\. my brother seriously needs some loving in some vay or another if you know what i mean, hehehe so do something about it already  
Feli!  
(Gilbert that's enough! stop vith these stupid rules!)

rules for dating my idiot brother who thinks he's awesome but he's really not by Ludwig Beilschmidt  
(I don't think i'm awesome i am awesome!  
yes yes, keep telling yourself that and let me write.)

1\. try and keep him from yelling "I am awesome" as much as possible  
(I can't help it, i'm awesome!)  
2\. be prepared to punch him as he's an idiot quite often.  
(oh that's not fair bruder.  
it may not be fair but it's true.)  
3\. don't take him drinking. i can not stress that one enough. if you think he's bad sober he's 10 times vorse drunk.  
(you're just jealous of my awesomeness!  
yes of course that's the reason.)  
4\. do not let him go anywhere vith Antonio or Francis. that's another one i can not stress enough.  
(too much awesome in one room!)  
5\. be nice to my bruder. he may be an idiot quite a bit but he's still my bruder and i'll kick your ass if you hurt him.  
(awww my baby bruder is being all protective of the awesome me! how sweet! keseses.  
*sigh* shut up Gilbert.)  
6\. keep him away from Elizabeta and Roderich.  
(awww now, miss skillet and mr fancy pants are fun to annoy! keseses!)  
7\. make sure he's home at a decent hour. another i can not stress enough.  
(you're no fun as usual bruder.)


	3. Chapter 3

chapter 3 Matthew and Alfred

rules for dating my brother by Matthew Williams

1\. take him to Mc Donalds often  
(dude good one!)  
2\. be nice to him. he is rather annoying often but be nice anyway eh?  
(i'm not annoying dude.)  
3\. let him talk about planes and the military and his idea for a giant super hero that'll save the world all he wants, well, he will anyway so just be a good listener, or good at tuning him out. either way eh?  
(dude, what?)  
4\. English guys are a plus  
(whoa now man, noooo they're not!  
what? yes they are. you're dating one.  
no dude, i am not. you're mistaken. wait, who were you again?  
I'm Canada. Matthew. your brother? idiot.)  
5\. If you are said English guy, no scones. well, no cooking. you don't cook very well Arthur, sorry.  
(no arguement there brohah.)  
6\. DO NOT let him drive! he drives like a maniac!  
(ok now Mark, that's not true! i'm a great driver! i've driven in Nascar and they told me i did an excellent job, and if it weren't for that wall that jumped out in front of me i would have won!  
*sigh*i'm not Mark i'm Matthew!)  
7\. bring ear plugs, he's got a loud voice and talks way too much!  
(dude man i do not! but seriously, who were you again? Mike? Mitch?  
I'M MATTHEW!  
Dude no need to shout!)

rules for dating my brohah by the excellent Alfred Jones!

1\. umm, who was my brother again? i didn't know i even had a brother!  
(I'm Canada! Matthew!  
oh yea. sorry dude.)  
2\. umm, make him pancakes? you like those right?  
(*sigh* yes Al i do)  
3\. umm, maple syrup! right?  
(Alfred just forget it.  
wait, who are you again?)  
4\. umm, he seems to like that guy Gilbert a lot. not sure why. he's kinda weird looking and weird acting and all. but hey, whatever floats your boat!  
(Al! stop that! don't talk about Gilbert!  
What!? you have a New Prussia even in Canada! what do i pretend that doesn't exist?  
Alfred i swear!)  
5\. ummm, he likes pasta a lot.  
(no that's Italy.  
oh wait, who were you again?  
MATTHEW! CANADA!  
dude you don't have to yell!)  
, be nice, bring him home at a decent hour, umm, i guess that's all.  
(*sigh* Alfred you are so annoying.  
dude, what was your name again?  
*sigh*


	4. Chapter 4

chapter 4 Ivan, Natalia, and Katyusha

rules for dating my brother by Natalia Braginsky

1\. DON'T  
(umm, Natalia? sister? are you ok?  
YES. NO ONE IS TO DATE YOU! EVER!)

rules for dating my brother by Katyusha Braginsky

1\. be nice to him! he's had a hard life and needs someone nice.  
(thank you sister!)  
2\. take him somewhere nice that has good food. and make sure he eats well!  
(sister, you don't have to add that, i'll eat ok.  
i want to make sure you're taken care of brother.  
you're so sweet big sister!)  
3\. he's not a bad or scary or mean guy. he's very sweet and kind and will be nice to you if you're nice to him. so be nice please!  
(aww, i have the best big sister ever!)  
4\. give him sunflowers. lots of sunflowers.  
(you remember i love sunflowers!  
of course brother!)  
5\. well, i can't think of anymore. and Natalia is giving me a horrible look.  
and brother if the date goes badly you can always show them your boobs.  
(um, sister, i don't have boobs.)

i didn't know Ukraine's human name so i googled it and it said Katyusha was used in a lot of fanfiction so i chose to use it as well. hope everyone likes the story so far! and i do appreciate all suggestions!


	5. Chapter 5

chapter 5 Emil (Iceland) and Lukas (Norway)

rules for dating my brother by Emil Steilsson (Iceland)

1\. be patient with him. he can be shy sometimes around new people.  
2\. Give him fairy tale books. he really likes fairies and trolls. alot.  
(not a lot baby brother.  
yes a lot. stop calling me baby brother.)  
3\. NEVER touch his cross pin without permission. or sometimes even with permission.  
it's special to him.  
(Is it that bad baby brother?  
yes. stop calling me baby brother.)  
4\. Let him complain all he wants to about Denmark because he can be a real pain in the ass and everyone needs to vent sometimes.  
(yes he is a pain in the ass isn't he baby brother.  
stop calling me baby brother!)  
5\. he likes to bake so try baking with him.  
6\. he likes to play chess. that's always a good date idea i think.  
(chess on a date. never thought about that one.)  
7\. also, if you could convince him to drop the whole, "call me big brother" thing, that would be really great.  
(aww, come on now baby brother. call me big brother!  
no!  
please?  
no! stop it!  
pretty please?  
no!)

rules for dating my brother by Lukas Bondevik (Norway)

1\. my baby brother needs someone nice. so be nice.  
(stop calling me baby brother!)  
2\. give my baby brother mackerel. that way he'll stay away from mine.  
(STOP CALLING ME BABY BROTHER!  
geez, you dont' have to yell. baby brother.)  
3\. he likes black licorice. get him lots. it's my baby brother's favorite.  
(why. why do you keep calling me baby brother?  
because you're my baby brother!  
*sigh*  
just call me big brother. once?!)  
4\. hot springs are nice. try taking him to one. maybe that'll help him loosen up.  
(i don't need to loosen up!  
yes you do baby brother!)  
5\. and if you could possibly get him to call me big brother that would be awesome and  
i'd consider you the best match for my little baby brother!  
(i swear! stop calling me baby brother! i'm not going to call you big brother ever!  
please? just once?  
no!  
please? i'll stop asking.  
no!  
just one time?  
NO!)

thank you to neurotickitten21, Adriana, for the help with this chapter. unfortunately i didn't really know a lot about these two brothers and she gave me awesome ideas!


	6. Chapter 6

chapter 6 Yao Wang(China) and Kiku Honda(Japan)

rules for dating my brother by Yao Wang

1\. my brother is nice but he's too quiet and needs to come out of his shell a bit so, if you can, get him to smile occasionally. he doesn't do that often.  
(konichiwa brother, but i do smile. when i feel the need to.)  
2\. don't let his whining about being old fool you. he's not that old.  
(umm, i did not realize i did that.  
oh be quiet!)  
3\. he likes cute things. especially cute animals. those are always a plus.  
(well yes, i do like cats and dogs.  
i know why you like cats too! ha! that Greece guy!  
umm, can we carry on with the rules please?)  
4\. he likes to read manga. but be careful if you go looking in his book shelves.  
one time i was looking for a recipe book and found one for eel recipes and when  
I opened it i found 'eels' alright!  
(*blush* when did you go look in my book shelves?! please refrain from doing that  
again! if you want a recipe book please ask next time!  
i swear! Hungary has corrupted your mind with that stuff!  
I will say no to that but maybe i mean yes!)  
5\. Oh, and Greece, it would be nice if you could find a way to keep him quiet during  
late night activities. Us older nations don't have the luxury of waking up chipper in the  
morning after an all nighter.  
(i do not know what you are referring to China. especially with singling out Greece.  
oh come on now. there was that one time you woke up after, ahem, whatever had  
happened with you and that cat guy Greece and screamed! i thought i was going to  
have a heart attack! i swear, next time he comes over and the two of you are up late  
doing whatever it is you were doing, please don't wake up and scream again!  
now that is enough China. i did not do anything with Greece and i do not remember  
screaming in the middle of the night.  
yea sure, just be quiet so the older people can get some rest!)

rules for dating my brother by Kiku Honda

1\. bringing bamboo for his panda is always a nice gesture. his panda is important to him  
and he really loves him.  
(yes i do! that would be nice to include panda!)  
2\. Never tell him that he is where the sun sets because it offends him...even though it's true.  
(What? what did you say?  
*sigh* i will not answer when you yell at me.  
and i will repeat even though the sun rises on me it sets on you.  
I swear Japan!)  
3\. He likes hello kitty. a lot. perhaps a gift of something with hello kitty would be nice.  
but never attempt to draw a mouth on her. he may beat you with it.  
(Ha! may? i definitely will!  
ok, ok calm down. old man.  
hey!)  
4\. he likes to cook so perhaps a date where the two of you cook dinner would be nice.  
but please do not force him to cook. he could get mad and kick your wall down.  
(hey! that was just that one time! and i was really angry so i had a good reason to do that!  
ok ok. old man.)  
5\. he may be rather old, but he can still defend himself with a wok and ladel so don't try  
anything funny. don't try to invade his home without permission. you won't like that upside the head. trust me.  
(that was only one time too!)  
6\. he is also very fond of sunsets so please try to enjoy them with him.  
7\. one other thing. he likes to make a China town just about everywhere he goes so if you could help him with that. or what would be better try and talk him out of that. there are enough Chinese restaurants around the world for everyone.  
(ok, now you're just trying to make me mad Japan!  
no, i am not old man. you are just hot headed is all.  
call me old man again and you'll see how i use a wok!  
ok ok. old man.  
come here Japan!)


	7. Chapter 7

i forgot to add thank you Adriana (neurotickitten21) for all the help with chapter 6! once again she gave me great ideas and help with writing! next chapter will be Switzerland and Liechtenstein.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 Switzerland(Vash) and Leichenstein(Lillian)

Rules for dating my brother, uh, sister by Vash Zwingli

1\. i would prefer you don't.  
(um, big brother?)  
2\. if you must i would prefer i know you for a minimum of 2, no, 4 years  
(big brother?)  
3\. you will require a back ground check, drug test, blood work and brain scans.  
(really big brother?  
yes really)  
4\. i require to see your driving record, any tickets, accidents or problems will result in immediate refusal  
(big brother...  
Lili quiet these are my rules.  
with your rules i'll never get a date.  
that's the point.)  
5\. i will also require any medical records, phone records, school records, proof of insurance, full name, address, phone number, and these are all subject to change or be added to at my will.  
(*sigh* big brother)  
6\. i would need to personally inspect your military. i want to know that you would be able to protect and care for my sister.  
7\. IF you get through all of these requirements, and it's a big if, i will require an interview, fingerprinting and to meet any and all family and friends you associate with closely.  
(Lili stop giving me that look. this is for your protection.)  
8\. IF you get through that also, and that's an even bigger if, i will require that i chaperone all dates. and i'd prefer to drive. and i'd prefer to set them up and decide where they will take place.  
(*sigh*  
stop sighing Lili)  
9\. and just so you know, i carry a gun at all times. you might not know where i carry it on me, but i always have one. and i have a shovel at home and lots of back yard area for digging and burying if i need to.  
(big brother, seriously?  
YES Lili!)  
19\. You will not be allowed to touch. at all. or talk to her. i'm still undecided about looking at her.  
(Vash! really! you need to relax some! i'm never going to get a date like that.  
Lili that's the point! no one is good enough or deserves to date you ever. you are too sweet and innocent.  
i'm not that innocent big brother.  
what did you say?  
*sigh*)

rules for dating my brother by Lillian Zwingli

1\. be nice to him.  
2\. flowers are always nice. bring him a big bouquet of something pretty that smells nice.  
(Lili i don't like flowers.  
well they're pretty and you deserve someone to bring you flowers.  
*sigh* Lili, there are more important things, like background checks, drug tests, driving records...)  
3\. take him to a nice place for dinner. and a movie would be good too.  
(i don't like movies.  
yes you do. we watch movies all the time.  
well that's different.)  
4\. my big brother really needs to relax and lighten up a bit. well, a lot actually. maybe a bar for a few drinks would be good.  
(Lili! how do you know about bars and drinking.  
i told you big brother, i'm not that innocent.  
what? when have you gone to a bar?  
never, you don't let me go anywhere without you.  
there's a reason for that too.)  
5\. if the drink doesn't work perhaps some sex will relax him and get him to not be so serious.  
(LILI! where did you get that from?  
big brother relax. you're going to give yourself a stroke or a heart attack or something.  
i can not let my guard down at all for a moment! you never know what will happen!  
that's the point, relax and let something happen.  
Lili!)  
6\. um, he really likes cheese. so a nice cheese fondue is always good. make some for him sometime.  
(*sigh* i don't understand you at all)  
7\. he's very big on saving money so if you take him somewhere that's really inexpensive that will impress him.  
(well, that is true. i do like saving money.)  
8\. don't take him near Mr. Austria. he might get upset and beat himself in the head, or put a bucket on his head.  
(well he's an idiot!)  
9\. don't make him sandwiches. he'll say they taste like sandwich.  
(so? what's wrong with that? a sandwich tastes like sandwich.  
*sigh* ok big brother.)

thank you to Adriana (neurotickitten21) for the help and ideas!


End file.
